Kellan Lutz's Wife Brittany Describes 'Pain' of Miscarriage Recovery

In recovery. Kellan Lutz’s wife, Brittany Lutz, described the “hardest season” of her life after miscarrying at six months.

“It feels as though within one day we went from a season that felt like a warm summer day, to the most frigid, windiest, iciest, day ever recorded,” the blogger, 31, captioned a Sunday, February 9, Instagram photo of a flower bouquet the actor, 34, bought her to honor their late daughter. “My emotions and feelings are slightly all over the place which is to be expected. Some moments I feel so full of peace and hope and expectancy. And other moments, simply put, it all just hurts like hell. I think it is important to try to always operate from a place of positivity, but that doesn’t mean you don’t acknowledge the other side too. We are human after all. We all hurt, bleed, cry. Feeling the negative emotions doesn’t make you negative. “

The Los Angeles native went into detail, describing the bruises covering her arms and neck from “IVs and blood transfusions,” as well as her “boobs … leaking and hurt[ing] like heck.” Brittany wrote, “It feels like a cruel reminder that I have no baby to feed.”

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First of all, THANK YOU to all of you. Your love, support, encouragement, kindness… it’s been overwhelming in the best way. It also shocking how many of you have been through the same thing. You are all superwomen. To those who have been vulnerable and shared your own experiences with us, we appreciate you letting us into painful chapters of your lives for the sake of showing us we aren’t alone. 🧡⁣ ⁣ This has, without a doubt, been the hardest season of my life. It feels as though within one day we went from a season that felt like a warm summer day, to the most frigid, windiest, iciest, day ever recorded. (Anyone ever seen The Revenant with Leo? I feel like Leo in The Revenant right now!) My emotions and feelings are slightly all over the place which is to be expected. Some moments I feel so full of peace and hope and expectancy. And other moments, simply put, it all just hurts like hell. I think it is important to try to always operate from a place of positivity, but that doesn’t mean you don’t acknowledge the other side too. We are human after all. We all hurt, bleed, cry. Feeling the negative emotions doesn’t make you negative. ⁣ ⁣ The pain: ⁣ – I miss her. A lot. ⁣ – My milk came in last night. My boobs are rocks, leaking, and hurt like heck. It feels like a cruel reminder that I have no baby to feed. ⁣ – My arms and neck are covered in bruises from IVs and blood transfusions and my body is so sore from fighting to survive. ⁣ ⁣ The positive:⁣ – I’m still here!!!! I’m writing this right now and feel humbled. ⁣ – I have the greatest husband and family and friends (and all of you who I’ve never even met!) who have poured so much back to me that I feel full. ⁣ – Even though this is so heavy, I have an unexplainable hope and excitement for the future. I’m not ready for another pregnancy right now, (not sure when I will be honestly), but I’m excited to heal and move forward and explore this new version of myself. This situation didn’t make me the person I thought I would become (specifically a mother to a real life baby girl), but it did birth a new version of me. Truthfully I’m scared and nervous but at the same time really eager to get to know her.

A post shared byBrittany Lutz (Gonzales) (@brittanylynnlutz) on

However, the former JUCE TV host went on to praise her husband, family and friends who have supported Brittany since her miscarriage. “Even though this is so heavy, I have an unexplainable hope and excitement for the future,” she wrote. “I’m not ready for another pregnancy right now, (not sure when I will be honestly), but I’m excited to heal and move forward and explore this new version of myself. This situation didn’t make me the person I thought I would become (specifically a mother to a real-life baby girl), but it did birth a new version of me. Truthfully I’m scared and nervous but at the same time really eager to get to know her.”

She and the Twilight star announced in November 2019 that they were expecting their first child together. They mourned the loss of their baby-to-be on Thursday, February 6.

Brittany previously shared her fertility struggles on social media, captioning a January Instagram post: “I got married at almost 31, long after I thought I would. I am pregnant now at 32 after countless negative tests, a lost pregnancy, and a surgery to fix problems in my uterus and create a hospitable environment to actually grow a child.”

The couple wed in November 2017.

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