Reddit Is Rallying Behind a Woman Who Reminded Her In-Laws That 'Mom' Isn't Her Only Identity

Breaking news: moms are people, too. I know, I know — it’s shocking. But for some reason, giving birth can reduce women to moms in the eyes of society (a title that is an honor, for sure, but only part of the package), erasing years of her main identity in the process. Spoiler alert: the same treatment doesn’t happen to men. It all came to a head on Christmas for one woman on Reddit, who is tired of being thought of “being just a mommy now,” and I completely understand her frustration.

“I have 2 kids, 2f, 4f. I f*cking hate how everyone thinks of me as being just a mommy now,” she wrote in the “Am I The A—hole?” subreddit. “I don’t get to be my own person. I’m just mommy.”

Many moms have felt that way at one point or another, especially when (usually) well-meaning relatives only seem to ask us about our kids and not say, our careers or hobbies. For this mom, it also translated to only giving her mom-related gifts. “Husband doesn’t face this,” she continued. “He gets gifts from everyone that have to do with his hobbies. Me? I get a bunch of mommy sh*t. Tee hee, mommy needs wine!”

“And like matching outfits. I don’t mean like, one of those cutesy matching pajama sets,” she continued. “I mean like, people actually think I’m going to go out in public wearing some cutesy matching outfits with my toddlers. As though I think they’re mini versions of myself? Or dolls?” Yes, it can definitely get old.

But it’s not just about the presents. These in-laws only refer to her as “mama.”

“From the time we got to the in-laws, it was ‘mama’ this and ‘mama’ that,” she wrote, adding that she snapped back, “You know my name is (Carmen), right?” The resulting confrontation was a little weird. “She just looked at me funny and said ‘Of course, silly?’ I said ‘So why do you keep calling me “mama”? You aren’t going around calling (husband) papa?’ SIL just looked at me like I had 2 heads and was like ‘Um, okay.’”

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