Watch: What new parents should know about managing a baby

"There was an internal voice or an internal prosecutor really that was telling me that I wasn't a good mom. That good moms have babies that don't cry and that other women probably know how to do this so much better than I do…"

When mother and family counsellor Diana Eidelman’s first child was born, she was 32 years old. Eidelman had been working in education tourism for nearly a decade and had a baby only when she felt she was ready.

The arrival of the baby, however, left the mother disillusioned after her son turned out to be a “high-need baby”, resulting in sleepless nights and made her feel inadequate as a mother.

“There was an internal voice or an internal prosecutor really that was telling me that I wasn’t a good mom. That good moms have babies that don’t cry and that other women probably know how to do this so much better than I do and that confident woman I used to be dissipated and disappeared and I couldn’t recognise myself,” she recalled.

Eidelman soon realised she wasn’t alone in her struggles since it was commonly seen in new parents. Many new parents suffer from postpartum anxiety and stress.

There is conflict of interest between parents and babies, said the counsellor and explained, “We want to come home and rest and sit down while our babies want to come home to explore. Home is the womb and in the womb, they were doing somersaults in there, they had rippling water and so for them, coming home is about movement and experimenting in the environment and getting their brains wired through this motion. So we are with babies we adore but we are at war.”

“What I would have liked to have known when I was 32 was that I had gotten it all wrong…What I really should have focussed on was on what was going on in me,” she expressed.

So, how do new parents deal with the stress of managing a baby? Watch the Ted Talk to know more:

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