A Sister Chose a Baby Name That Is Rooted in Family Trauma & Reddit Says the Baby Is Being ‘Used as a Pawn'
We’re not going to lie to you, baby name drama almost always makes us roll our eyes. Because seriously? Do you really think you can call dibs on a name? Or it makes us shake our heads. Because seriously? You don’t see the problem with wanting to name your baby after an ex? Or it makes us laugh. Because seriously? You thought you were funny by pretending your baby’s name is “Flatulence?” Or you thought it was your right to name your kids Anna and Elsa?
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Getting the picture?
Well, this time on the “Am I The A—hole?” subreddit we were faced with a baby name dilemma that was incredibly serious, mean, disrespectful, and, as Reddit suggested, attention-seeking in a truly terrible way.
A woman wrote a post titled, “AITA for telling my sister she doesn’t get to force our family to pretend we like her daughter’s name?” This might sound petty from the outset, but you know what they say about books and covers and all that.
“My sister gave birth to her first child two months ago and named her Olivia,” the woman who originally posted (the “OP”) said. “The name Olivia has a bit of a history with our family.”
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Starting In OP’s Childhood
Image Credit: Adobe Stock The problem with the name “Olivia” dates back 12 years, to when OP was 8 years old. “To make a long story short, I was bullied by a girl named Olivia for years,” OP said. It got so bad for OP that her parents moved her out of their “local small school” to a bigger one, but it didn’t stop there.
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On It Goes
Image Credit: Adobe Stock “What started as an 8-year-old being mean and cruel at times turned into a 16-year-old being arrested for harassing and making my life absolutely hell and going so far that she was considered a stalker,” OP wrote.
Holy sh*t! How scary is that?!
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Not Getting Any Better
Image Credit: Adobe Stock It only got worse, OP explained. From ages 12 to 16 (for four years!), OP didn’t leave the house without a parent or older sibling with her.
“It was also so bad that my parents had to call the police on a few occasions when Olivia followed me home and was outside our house trying to get to me,” OP said. “To say this was a huge ordeal for all of us is an understatement and to say it left me with some mental scarring would be an even larger understatement.”
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The Big Announcement
Image Credit: Adobe Stock Obviously there are plenty of Olivias out there and not every one of them is a stalker, but you can understand why OP and OP’s family wouldn’t be a fan of that name, right? And so it was “a shock” when her sister chose that name for her baby.
“My mom asked her if she was serious and my sister grew defensive and said of course she was serious,” OP said. “[She said] that Olivia is the most popular name right now and for good reason, because it’s beautiful.”
OP’s brothers called the move “insensitive” and told their sister they “had no idea she cared so little about OP.” OP’s dad said it would take time for the family to adjust to the name.
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Sister’s Reaction
Image Credit: Adobe Stock OP’s sister “did not like that,” and we’re not surprised. At one point, OP’s mom and oldest brother told this new mom that she could name her daughter whatever she wanted but that they felt it was “very unfair” to OP.
“My sister contacted me directly after a few weeks of our family not coming around,” OP said. “She said it was all my fault and that I should have been the one to say something positive about the name, that I could have turned the tide with the family.”
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OP’s Response
Image Credit: Adobe Stock OP told her sister the name was “tied up with a lot of trauma” for her. Because DUH!
“She called it bullsh*t and said I’m old enough now to be mature about it and to not take it out on her and her daughter,” OP said.
OP then told her sister that she is old enough to understand she can’t force the family to pretend they like their granddaughter/niece’s name.
“None of us said it was ugly or awful,” OP said. “But it’s associated with my worst memories. She told me we were trying to influence what she could and couldn’t name her daughter and it made us a—holes, especially me.”
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Reddit’s Reaction
Image Credit: Adobe Stock Hell no, sis! More than 1.5K commenters agree the sister’s decision was majorly f*cked up.
“There are so many beautiful names to choose that it’s really ironic she settled on the one single name of a person who made your childhood living hell,” said the top comment with 6.3K upvotes. “I’m sure at some point in the future you will all get acclimated to this but if she doesn’t understand that disassociating that name from your bully will take time and that this is a shock then she should go to a therapist who can better explain it to her.”
“Maybe her sister holds some resentment to the family having to take care of OP for so much of her childhood. it’s an awful situation and it is not a coincidence the sister chose this name.”
“Your sister knew exactly what she was doing when she chose that name…Your sister has no right to call bullsh*t or to tell you how you should be feeling. She chose the name she so badly wanted. It’s up to her to persuade people it was a good choice in this set of circumstances.”
“If someone was terrorizing my sibling so much and had the cops called on them in my front yard more than once, the last thing I’m doing is naming my child the same name as that person.”
“Almost feels like your sister is being passive-aggressive and attempting to get back at you, perhaps because you got so much attention due to the trauma you suffered, and most of your family members by extension suffered? Either way, you and your family have handled it well. Sister, not so much. Actions have consequences.”
“The sister got overlooked (or feels like they were overlooked) due to the situation her sister went through…If we are reading it right, I feel so bad for the child. It’s awful to think they are being used as a pawn in a sibling rivalry.”
“…She’s put her child into the middle of things. And now she’s going to use the child and your family’s reaction to it to fuel her own resentment and justify any and every terrible thing she says and does moving forward.”
So how do they move forward? Well, for starters, the family needs to remember not to take this out on baby Olivia. None of this is her fault and she shouldn’t be punished for what the other Olivia did. And so Reddit has started suggesting some possible nicknames if that makes it easier for everyone at least at the start: Olly, Livvy, Lovebug, Vie. Take your pick, OP!
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